Catherine – “I am now very happily married and have two wonderful sons”

I struggled in my late teens and early twenties to reconcile my lesbian sexuality and relationships with my other identity factors including my Christian identity. 

I surrounded myself with people who would celebrate my lesbian sexuality and tried to tell myself that it was bold and great and that it was who I was.

Nonetheless, for whatever reason I found no peace with this part of my identity.  I felt like it arose from my having been sexually abused as a youngster. I felt in my core like I was broken and that I would feel like a victim as long as I celebrated being lesbian. I was free sexually but trapped identifying as a victim.

In my mid twenties I sought help from my parents who knew a ministry that could help me. Nobody forced me. My family had accepted who I was. I hadn’t.

This ministry helped me to unravel the layers of hurt and examine how my abuse as a youngster had affected my identity as a person and as a female. Like all therapies it was challenging but I was there because I wanted and needed to be. 

My sexuality did not change overnight and actually other changes happened first. Sexuality was really a by-product of deep healing at my core. It wasn’t until about 6 years later that I felt like I was almost entirely heterosexual in my desires.

I am now very happily married and have two wonderful sons. More importantly I feel as if all of me is flowing in one direction and I no longer feel inner turmoil. I have a life I certainly would not have had if I had not sought the help I did. 

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